**Courage** For this sensitive introvert, it's hard to heed the truth in my heart, to even acknowledge that there's a deeper truth in there. I don't want to hear it because then I know I'll have to do something about it.
I'd much rather ignore it awhile longer, hide out, and stay in the safety of my too-small my comfort zone. I procrastinate and let myself get distracted doing other things, often meaningless things that don't really matter in the long run.
I do all this avoiding not because I dislike change. No. I actually really do believe change is a necessity in life. Without change, it's difficult to fully experience all that our life is waiting to offer. Without changing and evolving, it's impossible to grow into our full potential.
I avoid my heart's truths not because I fear change, but because I'm terrified by the unknown. I prefer to avoid the chaos and overwhelm that come when I set foot into unknown waters. Yes, I am pro change. But this sensitive introvert wants it to be on *her* terms. I seek to control the experience so *I* can feel in control.
The thing is, the more I try to push and pull and force and control, the more overwhelmed and stressed I feel. I've learned that when I allow myself to ease up, to stop grasping for control, to start going with the flow of the experience, it becomes much less chaotic and I end up feeling less overwhelmed and more at ease. I usually even come to enjoy the experience itself. Letting go isn't easy to do, it takes continual practice.
I'm learning to trust that if my actions are truly coming from the heart, then no matter what happens, even if it's unexpected or difficult, it's meant to happen. There's a reason I'm going through this particular experience at this particular time. There's a better outcome that I can't see yet, or there's something I need to learn. So I'm listening, heart. I'm learning to trust and find the courage to act.